In the end
by Wolfborn
Summary: After Shepard's finest hour, she's left reflecting on how things came to be. Based on ME3. SPOILERS! DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE ENDING! My version of how things should've happened. ME world changed slightly to suit a happy ending. M for language.


**This story is based on my favoured idea of how ME3 SHOULD have ended. FemShepXGarrus.V. SPOILERS! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED OR SEEN THE ENDING! No flames please, this is just how I think all the fan girls wanted it to end. Like me! **

**The Shepard here is based on my own female, with short cut, bright red hair, pale blue eyes and is african american.**

' = Thoughts / " = Speech

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><p><span>In the End...<span>

'I... I did it... I stopped the reapers...'

Shepard laughed softly, but soon grunted in pain. The blasts had knocked her for six and the rubble crushing her body wasn't helping... God it hurt to live. How did she keep doing this? How did she aways survive again and again, when so many died? Granted, she did cause a lot of deaths. She was a badass, who was to question that? But she saved more. Tail... The Quarians... The Geth... Turians... Krogan... She cured the Genophage... She Destroyed the Collector base... She shot the Illusive Man, and this was what her life amounted too? Death? Not even how she wanted it either... Rubble crushing her organs, bleeding heavily... She wanted to die fighting, blowing up the Reapers in a glorious blaze or die in peace in...

"Oh... G-God..."

She started crying, the pain in her heart matching that of her body. Jane Shepard of Earth born nature, Ruthless and deadly with her shotgun and biotics... Was crying for the first time since she was a new born...

"Garrus... I... I guess... I can't keep that promise..."

She screamed in pain as her chest heaved in sorrow. The one thing she had fought for... The one thing that made her life worthwhile... And now he'd be alone. God, she didn't want to leave him... But if he was there, he'd never have made it out alive. The Citadel was a husk for bodies... The Crucible, a wreckage floating ontop... It had blown up when she used it. Well... It wasn't used so much as destroyed... Her mind drifted back to what happened...

"No way was that a fair deal..."

The Crucible had asked so much of her... She was given three options.

Grab the cables to her left and die, but control the Reapers and all other AI, VI and any other technology, just as the Illusive man wanted...

Jump into the energy beam and be turned into nothingness... But make all synthetic and organic life one via synthesis...

Or shoot the generator to her right, blowing up the Reapers, like Anderson had died wanting, but also all the tech in the galaxy and live... But EDI was part of that tech too... And so, partly, was Shepard...

Regardless, the Relays would blow up too... But that would mean Garrus never seeing her again... Never making love to her... Never kissing her... Life like that wasn't worth living.

"I... I can't decide!"

She turned to the small child,the avatar to the Crucible. Her hand clutch tightly on the gun in her hand.

"You must... The galaxy and all order in the life you desire to keep so badly depends on it."

So cold... So alien was the child... It may have looked the same, but it was far from the child she once tried to save...

"How could you give me such options! I'm a human! I'm not supposed to calculate all possible out comes to such stupid actions! You said it yourself! The relays will be destroyed! How can we exist in this universe, after all of this, if we aren't together!"

She gritting her teeth and tensed her muscles, blood seeping out of her once more.

"You must. You must choose now or the harvest will continue as planned."

'What did he say?'

As planned... That's right. The Crucible had referred to the Reaper as its creations... Son of a... It caused all of this! It's the reason so many have died and now it wants Shepard to do the same!

"You little..."

She pointed her gun at the avatar, the muzzle sinking into its non-physical skull.

"What are you doing? Shooting me will change nothing. I am not to blame. I merely found a way to maintain order-"

"Shut the fuck up! You cause the chaos, you never brought order! You never thought of any other possible ways of letting the order come to the people of this galaxy!"

She growled and ran back to the platform that she arrived on.

"I'll show you! I'll end this madness once and for all!"

She pointed her gun down at the corners of the metal floor.

"No. Wait! You will not bring order. You will only cause more chaos!"

She smirked.

"I'm Commander Jane Shepard and I'm through giving a shit about order."

With a handful of shots fired at the metal, Shepard crashed down to the room she once was in, Anderson's body laid before her... Only this time, she could swear he was smiling...

"David... My friend... I'm not going to fail you again... I'm gonna make you see, whereever you are, that this universe is safe..."

She grunted, kneeling down, and coughed up blood... Her organs... They had been smashed... She could swear she felt her ribs in her lungs... Copper and iron. Blood. It's all she could taste. All she could smell. Fuck, she was in a bad way... Yet she could still smile.

"... Just as you wanted... Just as we wanted..."

She stumbled to the console and punched at the buttons. The lights flickered and blinked, flashing all the time... Nothing happened. Nothing was working...

"W-What the...?"

The console's lights faded and died, till nothing was left but a metal base.

"N-No... No! No, work you son of a bitch! Work god damn it!"

She punched the console, tears streaming down her face as she violently attacked the metal with her broken fist.

"I can't lose! I can't fail now! I can't! I can't...!"

She burst into tears, collapsing over the console's base. She didn't know what to do. For the first time since she became N7, see didn't know... She had lost... She had lost the war and doomed the galaxy...

"David... David... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

Shepard fell to the floor and crawled over to her fallen friend. She rested her head against his chest and cried. Shepard was undone.

"I... I never told you... How grateful I was... For your friendship... For your company... And for being the closest thing I ever had... T-To... A father..."

She cried and gripped her gun tighter. Looking at the console. She could barely see... Her eyes were failing her and darkness was slowly sinking into her world... She was going to die soon...

"David... Even if this works..."

She raises her gun, shakily, aiming at the console, finger weaking pressing down on the trigger.

"I'll see you... In the darkness..."

She pulled the trigger, a round firing directly at the console, which sparked. Another round gave a small burst of flame. Another... Another... Another and another and another... Shepard gritted her teeth as she unloaded her gun into the console, which was now in flames, the room around her emitting explosion and crumbling before her. Her mind flooded with so many images...

How happy Joker and EDI would be together...

Her friends, even if they never saw eye to eye, being there for her... Liara... Wrex... Tail... Kaiden... James... Grunt... Jack... Miranda... Jacob... Kasumi... Zheed...

The fallen... Thane... Samara... Legion... Mordin... Anderson... Jenkins... Pressly... Ashley...

But most of all... The one person she thought of, as her world faded to black as the world around her destroyed itself... The one man on her mind as she rested on her fallen father figure... The one turian and single person to ever get close enough to her to kiss... To touch her like that... Was Garrus... A final tear fell from her eye as the Crucible detonated, sending a shockwave and an ear piercing scream out across the galaxy. Everywhere in the universe, cheers cried out into the sky as news of the Reapers end came to light... She had done it... Jane Shepard of Earth had become a legend in so many ways... But this was, by far, the thing she would be remembered for...

However, unlucky for her, her body had to endure the plummet down to earth... However, unlike last time, she had the mercy of being incased in the metal remains of the Crucible... She had crash landed and taken out a small section of Parliment as she did, the rubble falling ontop of her as it fell around her...

Gasping, Shepard came back from the dead for a second time...

Now that she thought about it, she still couldn;t believe how any of it happened... That she beat the Reapers in a oddly easy manner... But then again, the Crucible had wanted her to die... It had wanted her to be its slave and make her die for something that only had a slim chance of working... In fact, obeying would prove that she was under the Reapers control...

"It's so dark... W-Wonder where the stars are?"

She coughed in pain, blood spat from her lips and flowed down her chin.

"I beat the Reapers... A-And... I don't... Get to see the stars?"

Her smile slowly faded...

"J-Just... Once... M-More..."

Her eyes slowly drifted shut... Her mind's last thought thinking again of her lover...

'I never told him... That I'm...'

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><p>That dream...<p>

The one where she chased the little boy... But he always burst into flames...

The fact that she saw herself burst into flame with him...

It wasn't that nightmare... Not anymore...

Now, she saw her life with Garrus... Him holding her close as she sleeps... A small child in her arms...

Jacob would one day have such a reality...

Even Joker if he even decided to literally make a baby with EDI...

But would Shepard?

No, she was dead... Wasn't she?

Last time she died, it was just endless black... No people or light or happiness of any kind... Just her, alone, in darkness...

So... Why this? Why can she see it?

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><p>It was... Warm... She felt warm... Her blood... It wasn't as frozen as she once felt it to be...<p>

No taste... A smell of gauze and medi-gel... Her hearing soon adjusted to life again...

"She... -ne could've... She did... -gendary..."

"What about... Kin?"

"Friends... Oh."

"Oh?"

"Doctor... It says her, from Shepard's own medic... That she had a partner... But you'll never believe who..."

"Spill it nurse. Who's the next of kin?"

"A Mister Garrus Vakarian... Former C-Sec... Turian sir."

His name... It warmed her heart... But why couldn't she see? What the hell happened to her eyes?

"G-Gar... Garrus..."

She tried to sit up, but she could barely move. Pushing into the pain, she felt her wounds seep... Until a hand planted her firmly back into bed.

"So... I'm not allowed any more suicide missions but you are? Funny how you know how to piss me off Shepard."

The warm chuckle that followed belong to Jacob. It was nice... Just hearing a friend again...

"M-Mocking... The ill...?"

"Save it Shepard. You need to keep your strength. You only just survived... If it weren't for your cybernetics... I'd be looking at a corpse right now..."

Shepard gasped... It was that close? So Cereburus actually helped after all...

"Rest up Shepard. I'll visit you when you can talk and not lose a pint of blood."

One more soft laugh off Jacob before he left. He would be a fine father one day... Better then his own... Shepard sighed. Long road out of hell... Just have to get out the gates now.

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><p>It was several days till she was even able to speak without pain. But it was time well spent. Jack visited and said she looked like shit. Tali visited and offered medical advise... Which only applied to quarians... And EDI visited to tell her about various news reports, how Shepard was now being hailed 'Queen of Commanders'. That kinda made her big headed... But no good having an inflated ego if the guy you love hasn't brought along his... That was painful to her. Yet she still couldn't see... Her eyes were still blackness to her... No use... And it was depressing to think she'd never see again... To never fight by her friends...<p>

Then, one day, Shepard woke up to see a small patch of light... The another... And another... She rubbed her eyes and gained a segment more...

'I... I can see... Only a little, but I can make shapes out...'

Shepard's eyes ran around the room, taking detail of every item there. The door was a few feet away. She'd be able to walk out, but it's likely she's under watch by the staff. To her right was a frankly poor choice of decoration. A painting of flowers in a vase. While she understood the point to such art work, it was lost on other species as they had no idea who painted it... To her left, on the end table, was some actual flowers in an actual vase. Black roses... Her favourite... But she had only ever told Garrus that.

'W... Was he here? Did I miss him!'

She went to snatch the tag off the stem of one a rose when her arm throbbed with pain.

"Argh! W-What the fuck? I thought I was healed?"

Looking down though her battered vision, Shepard could see her upper arm. One it was one large, talon shape bruise.

"Garrus... He... He didn't want to see me go..."

The Turian and gripped her so tightly he had hurt her, but Shepard would never see the bruise as such. Garrus wasn't trying to hurt he, he was just terrified of losing her, so clung tightly to her like a child. He couldn't lose her... And she couldn't lose him... Shepard's attention return back to the tag on the rose, slowly reaching for it to decrease the pain. Bringing it close to her eyes, she read it slowly.

Shepard... I looked up the meaning of black roses... While they are unique and beautiful like you, I will never say goodbye. I need you. -Garrus

Shepard's tears run off her cheeks and onto the tag. He seemed in so much pain... And she was causing him so much worry...

"Oh... Garrus... I wish you were here... I need you..."

Shepard felt a cold item brush her cheek. Looking up, she stared into two crystal blue eyes... And they stared into hers.

"Shepard... I'm here..."

Garrus slowly stood up, having been kneeling when he wiped away Shepard's tears. He smiled softly, or at least, attempted to in his own Turain way.

"Miss me? I don't blame you. How wouldn't miss-?"

Shepard yanked him down and kissed him, whincing in pain from her wounds. But to hell with it. He was worth it. Breaking the kiss, she just stared into his eyes.

"How did you...?"

"I er... I stayed all night... And kinda passed out on the floor. So when you woke up, I was actually... Napping."

He scratch the back of her neck, ashamed that he had slept so easily. Shepard laughed softly and stroked his talon in her hand.

"Garrus... Everything I did... Every single moment I was fighting to save us all from the Reapers... I always thought of you..."

The turian had tears forming in his eyes as she looked up at him. She'd never seen him break, but now he didn't seem to care.

"I thought I lost you... And then when I heard you were here... I didn't want to see what state you were in, but I had to... Just glad I came when you weren't half dead... Again."

He climbed into the bed with her, not in his regular armour, but rather in civilian clothing. She kissed his nose ridge before wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. He softly held her hip and laid his head against hers.

"When is Da... I mean... Anderson, getting a burial?"

"In a day... Why?"

Shepard inhaled sharply.

"I want to say goodbye to him one last time..."

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><p>There he was. Admiral David Anderson. Laid so peacefully in his casket... He died believing in Shepard... And he didn't die in vain. EDI was holding Jokers hand. Liara was comforting Tali, who was crying hard over his departure. Kaiden and James maintained their manly composure, even if they were dying inside. The Doc was wiping her tears softly. Taynor was just sitting there with Adams, either incapable of showing emotion or unsure what to feel. Even in the sidelines, Wrex, Grunt, Jacob, Miranda and Ori, Jack and Anderson's old friend Kahlee Sanders was there... But she was crying... As can be expected... They were closer then ever... Shepard just sat there... Held tight against Garrus... It was funny. With every death, they was supposed to be a new life. She couldn't help thinking that Anderson was the reason of her new life... Or maybe... It was something, or rather someone, else...<p>

"Garrus... Do you ever think death brings life?"

"What do you mean Shepard?"

She looks up at him, his manidible twitching.

"If with each death, someone or something else lives... Maybe life is like that..."

He looks down into her eyes, a puzzled look on his face.

"Shepard... What are you saying?"

"Garrus... I... My cybernetics didn't just save me..."

Her face tinted a crimson red as she took Garrus' talon, kissed it softly, and slowly stroked it down her side before leaving it on her stomach.

"I... I'm pregnant..."

This was the second time she had seen Garrus stunned. The first was when he first saw her naked. She chuckled softly to herself over that thought.

"Y-You mean... I... I'm going to...? H-How? When? I-I don't..."

He sighed heavily as Shepard motioned his talon in a circle on her belly.

"The cybernetics... They corrupted my DNA... So I'm not human... Or any race from that matter... But it means my DNA is still capable of bonding with another... When we bonded... After I lost Thessia... It was then... I was throwing up for the next few days and I final knew what it was..."

Her warm smile match the dumb look on Garrus' face. His talons shook as so did his body.

"I... I..."

He burst out of his seat, talons clenched and puching the air.

"I'm going to be a father!"

Shepard blushed as deep as he did when he realized the entire funeral hall was staring at him. Slowly and silently, he sank back into his seat.

"Thanks... I was the only one who knew..."

Sheaprd laughed softly over her love's stupid actions... One of the reasons she loved him.

"Shepard... Sorry... I just... A child, with you... It's like it was meant to happen... The spirits seems kind to me."

He smiled, pulling her close. She enjoyed this. The warmth. To think now she had a reason to retire other than Garrus. She now had the first human-turian child in her... The child as unique as the person who mothered it. It could be said that Shepard was fine at peace. And all it took was a galatic war and her death to bring it. No more nightmares for Jane... They watched in silence as several people spoke and left. Some had little to say. Some wished for more time. Some wished him well and saluted their fallen friend. Then, it was Shepard's turn.

"I know you'll do him proud Shepard..."

She slowly walked to the podium, hundreds of eyes on her. She'd given speeches before, but this wasn't a do or die speech. This was just a fairwell to a good friend.

"Anderson... Was a great man. He never stopped fighting for what was right. He never stopped fighting for justice even when things didn't go as planned. But that's an example I think we can all take from him. Never stopped fighting. If you believe in something, then you should never give up on it. You have to hold onto it with all you've got. The only person to stop you is ulitimately yourselves. And Anderson never did... He believed in every man and woman involved in this war. He believed in all of his friends... He believed that we could stop the Reapers and we did. Thanks to him, we achieved the ideal he fought for for so long. He achieved his dream of peace. Among clans... Among friends... Among races... By holding these bonds we have close... By making sure that we stand strong and together no matter what, we can succeed. We can keep his memory close to our hearts. And together, we can make this existance we have better..."

Shepard smiled warmly and looked down, slowly cupping her hands over her belly and the small child she'd vow to defend till the end.

"...And we can make it better for those of the future... For those people may one day need our help again..."

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><p><strong>WoHoo! Finished! I loved writing this and I hope you loved reading it. And thank you to the people who liked this as you the first followers of my work. Big ego boost to me. ^_^ Review when you want. Thanks!<strong>

**And massive thanks to all the writers of as without your excellent writing, I'd never have started!**


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